Reset. Refocus. Restart.


Well, the last few months have been somewhat of a write-off for a scheduled exercise regime. The good news is that although I remained active, it was nothing on a routine basis. The summer had me out hiking and Geocaching as well as out camping with the family. As the season progressed into fall, I was still out hiking and Geocaching. Now with winter settled in, my outings have dropped to negligible. The weather hasn’t been bad, but in my part of the country it’s snowed, melted, and then froze; then snowed melted and froze again. Walking anywhere became treacherous let alone trying to go for a run or hike. I thought about getting a membership at a local gym, but we were house hunting over a wide area at the time so “local” was relative, depending on what part of the city (or cities in our case) we may end up.

At the start of November my wife was laid off so my free space was taken up with a 4 year old at home who’s up at the crack of dawn taking over the TV… or at least that’s been my excuse, and I fully admit that I’ve used it as an excuse. I have those DDP Yoga DVD’s still staring me in the face as a blatant reminder that I need to be the parent and take the time I need. Half an hour away from the TV isn’t going to kill him. His toy minefield is another story and does make it a little more difficult to navigate though.

I’m surprised I survived the holiday season without a new onset diabetes. The problem with working as a nurse is often the nursing station is a sugar buffet due to the generosity of patient’s families (fruit and veggie platters everyone, PLEASE!). Healthy eating goes right out the door with enough temptation that would make the good Lord buckle.

The bad part about all of this time is that I really haven’t lost any weigh (according to the scale). The good news is that I also haven’t gained any weight! I actually find myself able to get back into clothes that I haven’t worn in years! I now wear a size 40 jeans properly; which means that it actually fits across my navel, instead of me squeezing into the jeans by fastening it up underneath my roll and letting it flop over the top of the jeans!

I’ve also been able to fit back into my Paintball pants, which I  haven’t worn in at least 7 years or more. Consequently, it gave me inspiration to perhaps get back into the game, which has turned into a full-blown explosion of my passion for the sport. Paintball was my physical and mental release, as well as my main social outlet for many years. It’s a connection I lost when I quit. I’m back in with my wife’s full encouragement.

So while things have been okay, they still could be a lot better. It’s now been over a year since I stopped eating from fast food outlets and I’ve managed to maintain that, however I still struggle to maintain an adequate eating program in other areas. I’ve been giving into temptations and treats more than I should be and it’s simply me not exercising my own will power. I should be somewhere in the advanced level of the DDP yoga by now instead of looking at starting from scratch again. The program is supposed to have a support structure built into that that I think I need to look at optimizing. I know what I need to do. I just need to get off my backside and start dong it!

This pause in the plans does NOT mean that I’ve failed! I don’t believe you’ve truly failed until you quit, and I’m nowhere near that point! This is a hiccup and I understand that they happen. While progress has been negligible, I haven’t slipped back. As I say, take the little victories. I recognize the need for me to get back on my game and step it up. I need to set some new goals and find something to shoot for. I’m still 20 to 25 pounds from my goal weight, and I’ll probably still adjust that goal when I get to it. But first, let’s achieve that one.

Also, I need my damn TV back…

start again


Milestone Reached!

July 16, 2013

July 16, 2013

Yesterday was speculation. Today, it’s official. For the first time in 7 years, I’m under 300 pounds!

This is the first big Milestone on the journey, and represents several things:

  • This is the most weight I’ve ever lost at once.
  • This is the most weight I’ve lost and KEPT off.
  • This is essentially the “halfway” mark to my target weight.
  • This opens up a lot of options for sporting goods to use, as many have a “Maximum 300 lbs.” weight limit.

It’s a bag of mixed emotions: joy, relief, a sense of accomplishment, and wonder about what comes next. It also bring a new voice that I recognize, and call “Complacency”. “Hey, you don’t need to go out and run or bike today. Look how far you’ve come. Go ahead and cheat a little more!”. That type of voice is what contributed to me being as heavy as I was. Now – more than ever – is the time to remain vigilant! The habits are still new and too easy to slip back into old ways. How bad do you want to keep what you’ve accomplished?

This is the first of 3 milestones I’m aiming for. The other two are: around or above 290, which is what I weighed when I got married; and 270, which is what I weighed when I played Tournament Paintball, and when my wife and I started dating. I’d eventually like to give her back the man she met!

I honestly had my doubts that I would ever get to this point. Now that I’m here, I look forward to what lies ahead.

Stepping up your game…

As of today, I’ve lost 34 pounds since starting in late July/August of last year.

Now, I am proud of this achievement and I don’t take it lightly, but lets face it… I did this with a half-assed effort and without much risk. I may have gone out of my comfort zone on a few things, but with one foot still firmly planted on the other side of the line. But, for a guy who’s struggled with his weight for the majority of his life, this is also the MOST I’ve ever lost that I can recall. So for me, if that is what it takes, then so be it. I’d rather do it slow and keep it of than something quick and not let the habits fully set in.

I’ve seen testimonials of people losing great amounts of weight within a year doing a variety of programs. I’m not going to compare myself to them and kick myself in the ass for not losing as much as they have, as they’ve probably dedicated themselves wholeheartedly to whatever program they’re on. There does come a time where one needs to step out of their comfort zone and take bigger strides toward their end goal.

For me, that time is now.

The running is OK. I’d like to stick with it, but I’d also like to add something else. I had been looking at programs  like P90X and Insanity, but found out recently that it’s better to be in good shape for P90X and even BETTER shape for Insanity! Well, those are out for the time being. What has piqued my interest again is DDP Yoga ( ). I first looked at this back when Diamond Dallas Page was calling it YRG, or “Yoga for Regular Guys”. Back then I had bought one of the DVD’s but never did much with it. Wasn’t ready I guess. Now, I’m looking for something more and I like the principal of it. Many of you may have seen the viral video of Arthur and the amazing transformation from a disabled veteran on crutches, to running.  If you haven’t seen the video, here’s the link:

I like to watch the video frequently. Not that it inspires me (although it is inspiring); I use it as a reminder. Every time I feel like I can’t do something, I watch that video and say to myself “Your Excuses are Invalid!”.

The next (and I’m predicting most painful) step as well is to take control of my eating habits. I’ve made a lot of changes in my habits in the last 6 months: I don’t eat fast food anymore. My pop consumption is next to nothing, compared to what it was. I try to cut out processed sugar and use natural sources – like honey- instead. I’ve cut down (working on cutting out) on processed foods. I have more fruit and vegetables in my meals. Big strides, but I have room for more improvement too. Despite the improvements, the one thing I’ve never really addressed is how much I eat, good or not. Portion size is what got me in trouble in the first place. So, I found an app that should help count my calorie intake, and hopefully I can adjust what should be a proper portion for me, as opposed to eating whatever I could until full. It’s a new learning curve, fighting 40 years worth of learned habits.

I’m setting a start date after my next Doctor’s appointment, which is next Friday. Wish me luck.

I have a dream…

I want to make a gym, just for fat people.

Find some humorous or ironic name for it, but with serious intentions. What people would pay could be based on scale (no pun intended); as like the more weight you needed to lose, the more you needed to be there, so the less you pay. Have them with other people who are going through the same struggles and understand, and not surrounded by “perfect” bodies and juice monkeys. Have trainers who were obese themselves to serve as inspiration; perhaps use other members to show that yes, it is possible. Show the benefits and necessity of proper nutrition and eating habits, which to me is as – if not more – important as exercise.

And finally, to have a day where they must leave once they’ve reached their goal. To be able to say to them “I’m sorry, but you’re too skinny to be here. Your journey here is done. It’s time for you to go. Congratulations!” How awesome would that be!

I figure that if I put it out there, maybe the universe will one day help make it come true!

Run Fatboy Run!

Physical fitness can neither be achieved by wishful thinking nor outright purchase. – Joseph Pilates

Lets get one thing straight: a runner, I am not! However here I am, starting to run, or at least trying to.

Why running? Because it’s something, and it’s more than what I have been doing, which was nothing.

I have more than a surplus of books on different exercise styles; multiple videos from types of yoga, P90X, Insanity Workout (just to name a few); and other sources of information and exercises, thanks to the internet. I’d look over all of these and mull over which was best, which should I start with, and which would give me the best results. The reality is that any one of them would, but I was so busy debating (and looking for my usual distractions) that I wasn’t doing ANY of them!

There’s a saying that goes If wishes were horses, beggars would ride! It finally came to a time where wishing for a better body wasn’t going to happen. I need to get off my ass and make it happen! So, thus begins that start of doing anything! I figure it’s more important to be doing something, than thinking about doing something. The idea of this is to get into the routine of doing some sort of exercise rather than a particular type of exercise. Today was the second time I’ve got out to do a run in the last dew days.

Today’s hard part is drowning out the voice of self doubt; that conversation you have with yourself even while performing the exercise. Negativity is like a demon – whether it’s your own inner demons or the metaphysical type – and it plays with your best intentions. Today’s conversation went something like this:

Why are you doing this? – For myself. I used to say for my family, but I really have to do this for myself. My family will benefit from it in the long run.

You can’t do this! – How do I know? I’ve never tried to run before.

You’ve tried programs before and failed! – True, but situation is different and motivation is different.

Why are you out here? – Because I’m paying for years of neglect, and it’s time to right some wrongs.

Such was just part of today’s internal dialogue. The solution is to either come up with some good answers to counteract our inherent laziness, or turn up the MP3 player to drown out the voices!

Running is actually something I’ve thought about incorporating into a routine for a while now. It also plays into part of my goals (which are important!). One thing I’d like to try is to participate in next year’s running of “Mud, Sweat, and Tears”, if for no other reason than just the experience. I’d also like to (also maybe next year) go to Vegas and participate in “Run For Your Life”: a 5 km obstacle course while being chased by Zombies (you know you wanna!)!

For me, I really have no interest in going past about 10 km. Chad, a good friend of mine, did his first marathon last year; that’s 42 km. A far better man than I to do such a feat! I’m a firm believer in “everything in moderation” (except Asian food, which is probably why I weigh what I do) and I had heard of reports that too much running can actually be bad for the heart (not enough cardio is bad for the heart too!). So while anything of that extreme distance is not on my goal list, I salute those that can. I’ll be cheering for you at the finish line.

Two times out doesn’t make me a “runner” by any shape or form, but it’s more than I’ve done in the past! I’m doing my best to be smart about it and work into it. Sadly, I’m not 25 anymore and don’t recover as well from mistakes. I’ve also been running on soft surfaces like sports fields, as blowing out my knees are a concern, especially with my weight. So far so good in that department, but surprisingly (and thank God) I’ve never had much problems with my knees even when I was heavier. So, as until my body tells me otherwise, I shall continue with what I’ve been doing.

Wish me luck.